#Veganuary, Meat my Aunty

Tofu and other Scrambled Offerings

I’m far too old to make New Year resolutions but this year is different. My nephew, who owns The Kind Kitchen in Constantia and Woodstock, threw down the Veganuary gauntlet. There was cold, hard cash at the end of the challenge. I succumb easily to bribery and corruption. I’ve always been funny, that way.

So, here I am, in a meatless daze, trying to picture my life munching my way through endless platefuls of fabulous fruit and voguish vegetables. The problem is that I live in a fishing village on the West Coast where “bokkoms met brood en fig jam” is heavily trending. Voguish veg like Jerusalem Artichokes and Kohlrabi are definitely not your daily fare. Neither are Asian pickled and fermented products like miso and kimchi on our local supermarket shelves. But then I have a flash of genius. I
spotted a vegetarian programme on My Home Channel and quickly tune in….OMG. This woman makes pizza bases with cauliflower! I kid you not. Is she crazy? Life is hard enough woman, get a grip. So I tune out….

I read about Veganuary online and it’s like a double entendre! Apart from a whole month without meat or fish, I also can’t eat eggs or dairy. That’s just reduced me to a whimpering wreck. And, to add insult to injury, these fiendish veganites have chosen January for their challenge – a month with 31 bloody days! Why not February? Give us omnivores a fighting chance!

I read that I must reacquaint myself with the pleasure of pulses. It’s all very well turning lentils and dry beans into nourishing dishes but are these as pleasing to the palate as rare roast beef and horseradish sauce? Well, I think we all know the answer to that question. And, at any rate, I have never romanced the pulses because they play havoc with my colon!

A friend has just phoned. Our local supermarket has tofu on the shelf. They’ve stocked up for the yuppie Jo’burgers and Capetonians here for the holidays. I read that you can scramble it. Well that’s it then. Scrambled tofu is my first hot tip for a Veganuary breakfast.

Until next time – may The Force be with you.

By Lucille McNamara

You can learn more by clicking here to Register for Veganuary